New spells in WOTLK

I have been thinking of possible new spells/abilities which should be made available in the new expansion.

The first I believe is that warriors need an aggro dump. Having done DPS a couple of times lately (quite well too I may add - in Prot spec) I have noticed I steal aggro a little easily. Warriors need an ability such as,

Act Spaz (0 rage)
Player has a fit in front of the attacking monsters rendering them overcome with laughter and making the player seem of less threat to them. Drops 50% threat to all enemy targets. Usable in Beserker and Attack Stance. Also usable in Defensive Stance with tooltip replaced with Leroy Jenkins


The ability I believe should be replaced in higher levels is the Hunter's Feign Death. Higher level mobs should be immune to this and a new ability could take its place.

Pet Intervene (10 mana)When Hunter is below 50% health by using this ability you pick up you pet and throw it at the attacking enemy. The pet intervenes the killing blow. Amongst the explosion of blood, fur or feathers the attacking enemy is confused, allowing the hunter to feign death. Upon reviving the pet, the pet is automatically very unhappy and needs Ewebetcha's happy cake to regain favour.

I had anotherone, for warlocks.

Cost 20 soulshards, 940 mana.

Summon Soul Man
By using 20 soul shards you can summon a Soul Man with the following abilities.

Soul Dance - Target of the spell succumbs to an irresistable urge and starts break-dancing - whilst in this state is unable to dodge, parry or attack and takes damage over time due to friction cause by the grounds surface.

Soul Singing - The target breaks out and starts singing either James Brown or Aretha Franklin songs. Whilst in this state is unable to cast spells (being essentially a silence, only in reverse) or use potions/flasks.

Grow Affro - the target's hair grows uncontrollably and covers their eyes effectively blinding them and renders them unable to cast ranged attacks.

Shadow Priests definitely need a new pet, so in keeping with the strengths of the class I believe this would be appropriate.

Cost 340 mana.

Create Shadow Puppet
The caster summons one of a variety of powerful shadow puppets to do their bidding. Whilst shadow puppet is summoned caster is unable to use their hands, rendering them unable to use melee weapons or wands.

Angry rabbit - Summons a vicious rodent which deals incredible amounts of melee damage. If more than one rabbit is summoned within a group or raid, they hop off together and mate furiously, rendering them both useless.

Beautiful Butterfly - Summons a beautiful butterfly which acts as an area of effect crowd control, stupid mobs and hunters are dazed by the beauty of the shadow puppet.

And the top tier shadow talent will allow true shadow puppetry mastery - puppetry of the penis. All shadow puppets may be summoned without the use of hands, allowing caster to once again use weapons or wands. Also allows one new shadow puppet.

Spitting dog - summons a rabid dog with a nasty ranged attack.

Rogues (not Rouges - who ever wanted to play make-up?) need new abilities, and I had an idea for a couple.

Nipple Cripple 30 Energy

This ability causes more pleasure than pain. A low threat, high damage attack guaranteed to put a smile on a monster's face. Adds one combo Point.

Vasectomy 40 Energy

This finishing move consists of a sudden thrust at the enemies nether regions for a high damage attack that causes the enemy to shreek like a little school-girl. For each combo point on the enemy their attack power is reduced by 50% for 3 seconds. Since they walk with their legs crossed, their movement speed is also reduced by this amount.

For Shamans

Summon Bong Totem 400 Mana
Duration 2 minutes, Range 15 yards.

Air totem which slows all enemies attacks within range by 10%. Enemy spell-casters have 10% chance of casting harmful spells on their allies, just for a gag.

For last 10 seconds of the 2 minute duration, the enemies all sit down and start inexplicably laughing at their feet. After the totem disappears, the enemies get the munchies and all attack whoever has the most food in their bags.

Use of bong totem produces bong water.

Bong Water Bind on pick-up.

A specialised mana potion, this brew grants the user 8000-10000 mana, however on consuming there is a 50% chance the imbiber vomits uncontrollably for 10 seconds (rendering them unable to do any other actions), spell-casting for 1 minute following consumption of bong water is slower by 25%.

Mages

Blink just isn't cool anymore, you need -

Explosive Diorrhea 300 mana.

Flaming diorrhea is jettisoned from the spell-casters back end, increaseing speed by 15% and leaving a trail of toxic fiery residue behind you which inflicts 250 damage to anything it comes in contact with, plus a further 250 damage over 10 seconds.

Here is my Pali offering.

Holier than though
Holy, 499.99 mana, 10 minute cooldown, 30 second duration.
Turns the holy paladin into a piece of toast. But not just any piece of toast, a piece of toast with an image of Jesus on it. In this form you are unable to move, but all healing and holy effects are doubled with the same mana expenditure. Your health in this form is reduced to a maximum of 1, lets face it, you're a piece of toast.


Please feel free to add any other ideas (btw, these were all 100% original Riamh ideas)

LOL Those are rockin.

bong water LOL

"Hey, Fred. What spells did you get with the xpack?"
"I get the ability to summon my soul man"

Pet Intervene ftw...I can only imagine how fun to fling my big red kitty